We get together about once a month with a group of dear friends here in LA. Up to now, we are the only ones with children (however, now that the
Big Load in in LA I'm sure they'll join us). Anyway...since we are the only ones with children we continually feel pressure to choose restaurants that are fun for our kids and fun for the hip-young adults we hang out with (although
one of them won't be young much longer...). So today I put down some of my thoughts about restaurant selection with children in mind. This may be a helpful guide to those of you with small children who, like we (or is that "us"? Help, Elisa!), routinely meet friends without children at various restaurants around town.
Because classes are beginning here in less than one-week, I'm in full-blown class prep mode. Therefore, I am thinking in logical analytical sequences.
"Daddy, When is my Food Going to Be Here?!": An introduction to restaurant selection with children
Any parent with a child between the ages of one-week and 15-years recognizes that one of the key factors in family satisfaction is restaurant selection. A "good" choice means an evening of fun, relaxation and happy memories. A "bad" choice leads to peril...high-stress, enormous anxiety, endless whining, and possibly even a time-out or an early departure prior to eating.
In choosing a family-friendly restaurant there are three factors to keep in mind: speed, volume, & ambiance. These three factors contribute to four distinct tiers of alternatives for restaurant selection with children.
- Tier 1- The most friendly places are high-speed, high-volume, & uber-casual ambiance. These spaces often include some free space so the kids can get up and walk around after dinner. That would include places like homes, parks, and restaurants with play areas.
- Tier 2 - A moderately kid-friendly place is a high-speed, high-volume restaurant with a moderately casual atmosphere. In these establishments a child who is struck with an episode of SCBS (Spontaneous Childlike Behavior Syndrome) it won't be noticed by everyone in the place. Also it is relatively quick to get you seated and get some food on the table. This includes many "family-style" restaurants like Applebees, Chili's (except on busy weekend nights)...as well as lots of little family-owned places (like Hop Li).
- Tier 3 - Less kid-friendly restaurants include restaurants that are either high-volume OR high-speed, but not both. The most common arrangement is high-volume, low-speed restaurants with a moderately casual ambiance. These restaurants are safe for SCBS, but slow to get a table and/or food. Children loose patience with a 20-60 minute wait for a table and then parents are at a deficit by the time they are seated. By the time the food arrives, the family may be ready to have it "to-go". This includes many tier 2 restaurants on busy nights as well as any very busy, popular restaurants like Claim Jumpers, P.F. Chang's, Outback, and Cheesecake Factory.
- Tier 4 - The worst places are restaurants with an adult ambiance. These can be either low-volume/speed establishments like quiet, formal restaurants (picture a romantic Italian place), or a high-volume/speed establishment like a club-like restaurant designed for college-kids to hook-up.
With luck, a Tier 2 restaurant will satisfy all parties in any group gathering. Otherwise, I advise you select a Tier 3 restaurant and give ample warning to the children that there will be a wait, or that they need to be careful to use "inside" voices. Also, give ample warning to the adults that you will make it a short night.
Under no circumstances should you select a Tier 4 restaurant, or commit to a long, adult-oriented discussion in a Tier 3 restaurant if you bring your children. It it must be a Tier 4, or an adult-oriented Tier 3, then find a sitter.
Finally, remember that children are people too. They have the same feelings, desires, and hopes that adults have, they simply have less ability to disguise them. A hungry, impatient adult will simply not be a good conversationalist. A hungry, impatient child will drive everyone crazy asking, "Daddy...when is my food going to get here?!" in increasingly annoying tones until the food is served.
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